Seven things I learned about house moving

Last weekend, we moved. Pursued by London’s ever increasing rental prices, we keep moving further east in a bid to escape its money grabbing clutches. Once it took 30mins to get home from Soho by bus. Now it takes at least one hour by the same mode of transport and 30mins by train (suspended lines and minor delays notwithstanding).

Counting life before kids, I have lived in a grand total of eight addresses. One would assume that that’d be sufficient experience to be a pro at the house moving process. But no, it’s like doing it for the first time every time.

In the name of making the next move easier, I’ve noted down seven things I’ve learned from this house move.

1. Most shops are not keen on giving away their unwanted boxes. The Pound Shop actually tried to make me pay for them – can you believe it!

2. The only way to get the kids to help with packing is by putting on a good pop tune. Lady Gaga’s Pokerface is a winner. Every. Single. Time.

3. Try to resist dancing while listening to music (refer to no.2). The kids might be scarred for life from watching mum twerk – no, of course I did not twerk but I might as well have done going by no.1’s facial expression.

4. There is NO point in asking the kids to sort out the toys they want to keep or throw away. They’ll want to keep everything, even the Buzz Lightyear that only has one leg and a broken helmet. There is only one solution here: throw out unwanted toys while the kids aren’t looking.

5. Don’t bother with a manicure for the duration of packing. Wait till the move is well and truly over. Your nails WILL get chipped from excessive cleaning and hard physical labour.

6. Don’t consume too much wine the day before moving. No further explanation needed.

7. No matter how much in advance you let BT know about your house move, there will be a short period of internet blackout – either at your old address or at your new one. Not having wifi is not the end of the world. It is ok to not check your email, twitter and G+ for a couple of days. Life does go on.

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